Remember last week, when I gushed about the trailer for Sierra Boggess Is a Loser and how Shannon Purser filled my entire body with bright, burning hope?

Well, today all that hope was squeezed out of me with the ppbbttt of air rushing out of a balloon.

Netflix just dropped the trailer for its newest show, Insatiable, a title which, it seems, refers to a character’s never-ending need for both revenge… and food.

The story opens on “Fatty Patty” miserably plodding the halls of her otherwise exclusively-thin high school.

Netflix's Insatiable Trailer 1

Oh, what a misery it is to be so monstrously huge that you’re relentlessly bullied in the unimaginative and unrealistic way of a 1980s after-school special.

Netflix's Insatiable Trailer 2

As will be obvious to anyone who has ever seen an actual fat person… this isn’t one. This is Debby Ryan in a fatsuit and bad prosthetics.

Netflix's Insatiable Trailer 6

The trailer takes care to show us that Patty isn’t just fat because she’s fat, no–she’s got that massive pillow stomach because she spends every night on the couch stuffing her face while her thin, attractive classmates are “losing their virginity.”

Netflix's Insatiable Trailer 3
You know, what fat people do on weekends.

But then–everything changes. After an injury to the face, Patty spends a summer with her jaw wired shut. This medical intervention substitutes for the willpower that is, of course, the only thing standing between plus-sized teenagers and conventional beauty, so Patty drops 100 pounds in a couple months and returns to school with perfectly curled hair, skin-tight dresses, and a ~thirst for revenge~.

Netflix's Insatiable Trailer 4
*turns around in slow-motion to reveal full face of makeup and school-inappropriate outfit*

The rest of the trailer actually looks like something that would be pretty fun. It’s a goofishly violent-looking revenge story where the newly-desirable Patty seeks vengeance on her former bullies (apparently they stop bullying her now that she’s thin because bullying isn’t about power and class, it truly is about the weight).

Netflix's Insatiable Trailer 5

I wish I could happily indulge in this they’ll-be-sorry melodrama, but I don’t think I can stomach watching another actress put on a fat suit and perform being verbally abused and shamed.

Netflix's Insatiable Trailer 6
“This is like every great high school movie ever made!”     You mean… the fat-shaming ones?

There are so many ways to set up a story where a teen abruptly becomes popular and sets out to get revenge. Did it have to be done–in 2018–with a fat suit and bikinis and a plot that revolves around the equation of “thin” with “beautiful” and “fat” with “lazy”

The only lazy thing here………. is that storytelling. (raucous laughter; ba dum tiss)

You can see the full trailer here:

What did you think of the Insatiable trailer? Let me know in comments!

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